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locointhecoco"Wow, HI! You've reached Pinkie, which is hopefully who you were trying to reach because if it's not who you're trying to reach you've REACHED THE WRONG PONY! And then I just don't know what you're going to do other than maybe try again and this time be very careful about who you're contacting. But if you did want to reach Pinkie, you've reached me! Or at least you will if you leave me a nice little message.
"Bye!"
*beep*
"Bye!"
*beep*
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Date: 2012-03-21 12:55 am (UTC)"Okay, okay, I get it. I have a name everyone and their mother can make fun of. You're not funny!"
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Date: 2012-03-21 01:52 am (UTC)Okay, first off: 'frell' isn't a word. I'm just gonna get that out of the way before be start saying things like 'flonq' and 'Wow, Greg Land is an amazing artist!'
That must never happen. Never.
Second of all, ferret sex? Really? That's not even creative. You can tell how disdainful I am by the amount of italics being used here. So, moral of the story, come up with more creative material!
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Date: 2013-05-17 01:47 am (UTC)Would you mind telling me why Derek has a collection of things that smell like you? You don't think that's a little weird and not right?
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Date: 2013-05-17 04:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-17 09:13 am (UTC)"Um, not that I'm not grateful for the help in my class or anything, but who are you? And also I'm pretty sure TAs don't get benefits other than hanging out with me and picking up the residual awesome, but you know I'm willing to look into it for you. Should we grab coffee and talk?"
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Date: 2013-05-17 05:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-17 10:11 am (UTC)"It's not rude but it's not great, either. Also, I'm not your sister. Check your phone, there's something going on with it."
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Date: 2013-05-17 06:32 pm (UTC)Crazy Phones
Date: 2013-05-17 02:55 pm (UTC)"If you wanted a hug that badly, you just had to ask."
Re: Crazy Phones
Date: 2013-05-17 06:49 pm (UTC)Wacky Phones!
Date: 2013-05-17 03:57 pm (UTC)"Um . . . thanks? I mean, I haven't gotten shot at yet this week, but I'll keep that in mind for next time. Just in case."
Re: Wacky Phones!
Date: 2013-05-17 06:58 pm (UTC)Crazy Phone Day
Date: 2013-05-17 07:01 pm (UTC)"Hey, I'm not here to do your shopping. If you don't want to starve, go buy your own groceries."
Crazy Phones
Date: 2013-05-17 10:20 pm (UTC)"...what the hell is a rancor?"
no subject
Date: 2013-05-17 10:28 pm (UTC)[From here!]
Crazy Phone Day
Date: 2013-05-17 10:30 pm (UTC)Karla had laughed good and hard before she'd responded, assuming that Ender had just hit the wrong number on speed dial. So, ever helpful, she decided to call him back and let him know he hadn't gotten Ben.
"Hey sexy," she breathed. "I can use my imagination to guess just what kind of supplies you want me to pick up from the store, or you could call me back. Let's get that yurt restocked, shall we?"
And then hung up again, cackling.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-17 11:26 pm (UTC)"Please. Do not ask. About looking at my underwear. Ever again. Good day, madam."
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Date: 2014-12-03 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-01 02:48 pm (UTC)Four tried to call back. Naturally, that wasn't happening today.
"Um. UM. I don't remember sleeping with you, so this is really uncomfortable. Maybe this was a wrong number. Please be a wrong number. Anyway, I'm going to try to find you later on, okay?"
no subject
Date: 2015-04-01 03:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-01 11:51 pm (UTC)"I have no doubt that your ass is as hot as... anybody else's, really. Have you seen the magnificent collection of beautiful behinds that populate this island? That said, mine is already spoken for anyway. Relax."
Wasn't it great that Jono was putting this phone that he could actually speak on to such good use?
no subject
Date: 2015-04-02 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-02 12:36 am (UTC)"Now now, My Little Mouse! Why would I think the hotel was on fire? That's obviously just an excuse daddy uses!"
...
"It's not, right?"
no subject
Date: 2015-04-02 02:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-02 01:26 am (UTC)"Um, I'm not sure why you're bugging me about weapons but lady, I pretty much am a weapon. So think twice about what you're doing, okay?
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Date: 2015-04-02 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-02 01:40 am (UTC)"Wha--what?" Hardison was just flail for a few seconds, trying and failing to recover his cool. "A--A threesome? Who said anything ab-about--look, there's only one dude that we'd have a threesome--I mean, person, Parker 'n I don't have anyone specific in mind--look, I appreciate your offer, my Nana always said to be polite, but I gotta go!"
And with a strangled noise, he hung up the phone.
no subject
Date: 2015-04-02 01:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-02 02:41 am (UTC)"No. No. That threesome is never happening. Threesomes are ruined. Sex is ruined. I'm going to go drink in the world's longest shower."
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Date: 2015-04-02 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-29 06:39 pm (UTC)"But why do you think it's okay to call me about Obi-wan sex fantasies?"
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Date: 2016-01-29 06:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-29 09:19 pm (UTC)"...well, I've no idea where this sudden burst of piety came from, but I hope this means you bear Transfigurations closely in your heart. Remember what it cautions, and what it promises, and perhaps you will be less unbearable in the future."
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Date: 2016-01-29 09:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-29 10:12 pm (UTC)And then he needed to try to return that call because...
Because...
What.
"I promise you, I'll be perfectly gentle with your... sturdy delicate magical balls. Because I have no intention of touching them. Ever. And no, before you even ask, you can't watch Hannibal and I, either, good lord. We close our blinds for a reason, you know."
[From here!]
no subject
Date: 2016-01-29 10:17 pm (UTC)